Summertime not always easy….

It has been a while since the last blog and We have had ups and downs with C. The main reason for no blog is because it was the end of term and it’s pretty mental at work (school) and Home just gripping on for dear life until summer hols! Also when he’s been in low mood or having troubles at school. A blog with all this can sound negative and woe to us, and we are not built that way…. crack on and get through it we try to think…Crying sometimes, but we do it! and we think negativity gets us nowhere in life so ??

So update!! C is always ready for a school holiday. He likes a rest and break from a routine. Which you may not think would be the case with a person with Autism, but I haven’t met anyone with autism that follows the script of ‘a set of characteristics’ that google holds. Also our journey evolves as we go so he may need more structure in the future as he grows.

Anyway we are a few weeks into the summer holidays now and we have had ups and downs. We have had a fair few meltdowns and violent outbursts and some really. really happy and settled times too.

Charlie has enjoyed having chilled mornings and being able to have constant access to outdoors while in our house. As well as his paddling pool when the weather allows it. As he gets older we notice how much more frustrated he gets that we don’t always understand what he wants. The worry of puberty just around the corner and how this will effect him is another point for discussion in meetings at the minute! It fills me with dread when I read about it! It does with Jack, let alone Charlie who will not have a clue what is going on with his mind and body! Inevitably equalling in outbursts and he’s only growing in size… another thing to lose sleep over! ???‍♀️

We have to think carefully about where we go on holiday, travelling, destination, accommodation and facilities and also who with. Many of our friends, even close friends, say how chilled C is and he is so lovely and he will be fine! And he may be some of the time, And they also say, why bother what others think. (We Don’t) BUT saying that…We can’t go to a resort in a hotel with Charlie we do have to think of his needs and others. He doesn’t like to share space with lots of people. Especially a pool. We generally don’t worry what others think. If they have an issue with our boy. It is just that, ‘their issue’ not his or ours. BUT we also know what C can’t cope with and what causes us, as as family, lots of stress. So why would we want to inflict that on Charlie and Jack and ourselves on a holiday?! We always make use of my mam and dads caravan in the Lakes, And then plan another trip wisely!

2 years ago we went to Portugal, Charlie’s first time on a plane since being a baby. To say we were anxious is an understatement! We made sure he had an autism pass for the airport and we boarded last. Making sure we had booked the back seats on the plane, as we knew he could get up there and my mam and dad could sit in front of us. So if he kicked he would be kicking them! (They are good eggs!) We went away as a family group with my brothers, mam, dad and sister in law. So we had an army if needed. He was ok on the flight, minus some loud noises. and the staff were lovely. We stayed in a villa which was the best option for us. We had our space, our pool, our rules. We have booked again for next year to go to Spain in a villa and hope it is just as successful. We only wish it could be as simple to plan a holiday/take a package deal away. When you have a disabled child this will never be the case though and that’s ok. That’s our Normal.

Back to this year…We are just at the end of a holiday away to Cheshire in a converted farmhouse. It has been lovely to be away from home and have family time. C has loved the fact the house is spacious and he can get away from us all if he wants! And the bonus is it has a hot tub!(Water obviously a winner as usual!) He has loved his time in the tub, as the picture above shows. So much he doesn’t want to come out of it even with warnings that it’s nearly time go get out and get a shower or even go eat, his other favourite pastime. We have had a pretty big meltdown in the tub. Resulting in his uncle and dad having to lift him out and his dad getting a pretty nasty bite to the chest in the process. Charlie can’t tell us when he’s not happy, upset or excited.. his actions can tell us. The bite told his dad!

Other than this, Charlie’s mood has been mostly settled whilst we have been away. He continues to chew constantly, causing mouth ulcers and pain for him and is still in his self harming nipping phase which is our current normality….

Charlie did become stressed as we entered Chester zoo this week. But taking into account the volume of people we were sort of asking for a meltdown. Once we moved him away from the crowds and into the fish/reptile centre he calmed a lot. This was darker/quieter/less bustling/ included water so was an overall winner! He was then ready to tackle the other sites of the zoo. He LOVED the bird centre as it includes a waterfall, He was very excited by this if he wasn’t holding on to one of us he would have climbed in and had a blast for sure!

Sleep is an issue with C again, in that, he doesn’t seem to like it at all. It may also be that the chemist gave us flavoured melatonin that contains salicylate, which in itself has the opposite effect the medicine is supposed to have on C! Maybe being back in his own bed tomorrow will help but I very much doubt it! ??‍♀️ We will battle this with them (AGAIN) when We get home ?but for now he is asleep on the last night of his hols and we are not far off it ourselves… goodnight all!

The Freeman’s xxxx