Our Journey...... Tuning Into Charlie's world

Jumping Through Hoops.

So I have been toying with writing a new blog post for a good few weeks but to be honest I have been too frustrated and I didn’t want to just rant as that wasn’t productive or nice to read! I tried to rationalise my thinking and focus on positive steps in our journey. Positive mindset does a lot to help. 

We are still in the midst of school placement changes and to say it is a minefield is putting it mildly. I have lost count of how many schools we have looked at and amazing staff members we have talked to.  All of these visits have been positive. We have met wonderful staff and children at all of the of the settings and the head teachers have been beyond helpful and supportive of our position. Some of the schools although amazing are just not the place for our boy and two of the head teachers openly admitted that. Although they had not viewed his EHCP at the point, they know they cannot cater for his needs. We appreciate that honesty, it needs to be said by more. Charlie’s needs are specific, his recent educational psychologist meetings highlighted this even more. She stated that he was one of the hardest type of children to assess. Although she found him lovely (obviously ??‍♀️) she said his autism and SLD along with lack of any communication made for a difficult assessment process. It’s hard to underpin what he knows, the level he is at etc as he can’t communicate this due to his Lack of verbal skills and SLD and his autism prevents him from being willing to do this too. He’s a complex guy our boy! 
When we have previously looked at provisions for Charlie we have found in some SEN education settings they  are one size fits all. Which makes no sense, in fact it is a ridiculous concept, As children with SLD/autism/any additional need require more differentiation of learning styles than typical children, this still just baffles me that it’s not obvious?! It was great that the psychologist saw this as a negative too and has noted that he must have an individualised learning program. 
What has been  refreshing seeing schools is that most offered a fully individualised curriculum for all of the children. They do not follow the curriculum they are needs based. At the moment charlie does have to follow part of the curriculum at a lower level, but this is just not working for him, this is no fault of his schools. This is just the system. A conversation with one head made me really think on this more as she said why? Why does he need hand over hand to draw? Why does any child if they aren’t ready?! What is that doing  for him? How will that help him in his development? In his self help skills? In his engagement level? The answer it won’t… self help skills will, danger awareness skills will, play therapy will help him regulate etc.. (as you can imagine I LOVED this head teacher!)  
The problem is resourcing this need and finding somewhere that can. We have seen two schools we feel will be perfect for Charlie. But both have no places for year 7 children in September. Which is awful to hear but also does not mean that the search stops, that one Won’t come up or we settle for something ‘for now’, as we need a secure placement that won’t involve another move. So if it’s ‘for now’ our position is a firm, he can stay where he is ‘for now’ until an appropriate place comes up. 
So the LA has sent Charlies EHCP to all of the 6 schools we/they think may meet his needs. Most of these we/they already know can’t meet his needs but this is a legal part of the process to prove that his needs can/can’t be met. This is what keeps me awake(along with C’s insomnia!) …as I have seen some AMZING settings by ofsted standards (as well as my own ha!) BUT we don’t want his needs ‘just’ met. He should thrive, he should excel in any way he can! His need shouldn’t simply be met he should be allowed to flourish. He is no more/less important than any other child in the LA system, all children need a place to flourish. I make it my job to make sure the children in my care at work do, to enhance their strengths, this is an entitlement. He is entitled to it as are all families. He will get it. The representative from the LA has been told this and she knows me well from working with me so she gets me and knows  that we do not back down. ???‍♀️
As well as sending his plan to all of these schools his name has been added to the North East portal. Where schools from the North East look and see if they can meet his needs. This includes independent schools. This is a long and sometimes tedious journey that we are frustrated with, as we know some settings can meet his needs. But with a system of over full SEN schools something has to give… more provision for these children is needed, when you are in it you see this so badly. There is just not enough specialist care available for children like Charlie. What is worrying is that some if these SEN schools continue to take in children when they are over full already. As parents we know this is a safety issue for staff and children and again something has to give. But how and when?!
Can you see why the frustration arises?
So we are basically still in no mans land, waiting, jumping through LA hoops when I actually want to smash them up and make some progress! 
On a positive note we have such happy boys at the moment! Charlie and Jack are both so content. 
Charlie is settled at school for now and seems to be happier in his class. He’s off with a tummy bug today but that’s a blip!??‍♀️? He is also still in his self-injury phase he’s nipping himself a lot but he seems to like that a sensory feedback ?He is also engaging more with the things he wants/needs/likes and with our older dog too! which is amazing ??
Jack is wonderful and loving his street dance lessons. This is his thing, He talks about it lots and we watch the greatest dancer, discussing how much he wants to go on! This is all about him, his thing and his special time and we always encourage him with this.  He needs the focus to be on him  and what makes  him happy?not to worry about us and his brother. Which he has a tendency to do. He has an amazing teacher who just gets how quirky he is! As he totally has his funny ways and worries about everything ??‍♀️bless him! (cheers Cassie?) He is  buzzing as he got through another street exam at the weekend! We are super proud! He is such a caring and thoughtful child…he asked tonight if we have another school yet and why it’s so hard to find one? A question I just couldn’t really answer as I have no idea myself! 
The search continues! 
Thanks for reading the rant! ???‍♀️
Lots of love 
The Freeman’s x

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?The Fight ?

16 Comments

  1. Denise

    Your words mirror what so many of us feel and are going through, are children should not have to accept second best they should be in an environment that they flourish and feel valued and we will keep fighting for them. Take care and we need more Jack’s in this world. X

  2. Leanne

    We went through a dreadful experience when trying to decide on the best Secondary placement for Alex. It’s so bloody difficult. We thought we had found him the perfect place, somewhere that would look after him and nurture him, as they had in his mainstream primary school. We got it so wrong!! Thankfully, we met a wonderful lady called Joanne, who talked us into doing some inreach sessions at the specialist unit she worked at, and from that one session a week it quickly became clear to us that that was where Alex needed to be full time. And boy did he flourish after that. Your Charlie will get there, of that I’m sure.

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